Well the wife and I decided to split, but there's good news. I just saved a butt load of money by switching to geico. Ok not really, I wouldn't go back to those jerks, well, if they paid me to....

It's amicable thus far. It was sort of a mutal decision but doesn't really make it any easier. It's been a bit of a roller coaster ride thus far. Some days I'll be very upbeat but then I can be brought down in an instant. Sometimes the troughs and peaks are only hours apart and change throughout the day. I feel absolutely rotten that I won't be here for the kids. I'll be 10 minutes away, but that's not here on the spot. On the other hand, I'm elated that I'm free to go find something/someone to make me happy because it certainly wasn't happeing as long as I was stuck with her.

Don't feel bad for me because this is a good thing. If you're going to feel bad for anybody, feel bad for the kids. They're the ones that are going to pay for this emotionally. My parents split when I was a kid and know how much a little boy needs his father. there were also a lot of other issues in my parents split that won't be a part of mine, and thankfully so. I certainly hope I don't put the mental and emotional torment on my kids that my parents put on me.

So I'll be moving out this weekend. It's been a bit uncomfortable staying here in the house, sleeping in my clothes on the couch. It's a bit cold seeing your wife go about her day to day life, intentionally excluding you. (Wait, it's actually just like when we were married) (I make light of it, but it's pretty much true)

My sleep pattern is completely disrupted and my stress level is through the roof. Sometimes I wonder why I'm stessed though. Just the change of situation? I'm not torn by this decision, so why does stress grip me so tightly? And let me tell you, I never realized how much stress can paralyze you. It overloads the brain and slows everything down. Things at work take me 5 times longer to complete because I can't concentrate. Imagine bringing up 100 instances of photoshop and trying to do the rest of your processing with whatever processing power is left over. That's what I feel like.

I know things will get better and I look forward to it,but I also know in the meantime things are going to suck for a while.

Every sunset is different. Some are spectacular. Some just go out with a fizzle. some just set and go away. It's the spectacular ones that give them a good name and it's the mediocre ones that make the spectacular ones spectacular. Everyone would take them for granted if they happened every day.

With that, I'm ready for the sun to rise.